Naked or Fake or Transparency
Talking to a friend a couple of months ago about how flipping difficult we were finding things and how easy everyone else seemed to have it, I said ‘I think it’s all a bit ‘Emperors New Clothes to be honest!’. Now, this sounds like sour grapes with a tinge of jealousy and yes, yes it is. It is also something which I myself have been guilty of. A veil of wonderfulness, which encompasses every aspect of my life, which can and does make others feel inadequate and makes me feel like a faker. It also can be quite isolating, conversations lack honesty and you start to get on peoples nerves sprouting about how perfect you are.
When first entering the world of ‘The Therapist’ you get bombarded by the ‘Law of Attraction’, ‘Thoughts Become Things’ and ‘Fake it ’til you Make it’ and you become a Stepford Wife to the cause. No matter how shit your life is you still have that smile on your face and everything is going well. AND under no circumstances say or think ‘I am really struggling here and could do with some help’ no, no, no, no…….YOU are a therapist, a life coach and if you are struggling and need help how the f*** are you going to help/advise anyone else.
Lets look at this another way.
Scenario one: . You are sitting on a beach, the sea is a turquoise blue, you can hear the waves gently breaking, the sun is beating down and you can feel yourself starting to burn. As you are prepared you take out you suntan lotion (factor 20+, else it’s really not worth it) and smother yourself……ah, you can’t reach your back. So do you?
Therapists: (a) Burn (b) lie on your back that way the sun won’t get it (you’ll be two tone but hey!) (c) Do you go and ask someone if they could help with the parts you can’t reach?
Non Therapists: (a) Burn (b) lie on your back that way the sun won’t get it (you’ll be two tone but hey!) (c) Do you go and ask someone if they could help with the parts you can’t reach…..apart from that person over there who is struggling to get to their own back, so there is no way they’d be any good at putting lotion on your back?
Alternatively you can become a contortionist in order to be independent in the suntan putting on stakes. Nevertheless there will always be a piece that you miss, a piece just out of reach, which can and is easily accessible when you ask for help. It also has no bearing on your ability to slather suntan lotion on someone else’s back, efficiently and effectively.